Jessie and I have been married for nearly three years now. As a newlywed I have learned two main things. The number one thing you learn when you get married is that you are not your own independent person who gets to determine how every minute of your day is spent anymore. I learned that very quickly when my hobbies and interests took a backseat to intentional time together, date nights, and now, taking care of a baby. 

The second thing I learned was you have to ask for forgiveness… 

A lot. Well, at least that's my role in the marriage; Jessie has to GIVE the forgiveness.. Which is the harder part isn’t it? And that is what this verse is all about. 

Forgive us our debts as we have already forgiven our debtors. 

This is arguably the most important part of the whole prayer. It is the only phrase that gets a second mention after the prayer is over. 

At the end of this prayer Jesus tells his disciples “. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins..

This is not a metaphor, or an allegory, or anything else besides a literal factual truth. In order to experience the forgiveness of God we must be willing to forgive others. 

Now, if you read Matthew's version like we have been, you see the word debts and you might be confused. Luke uses a different word in Greek, in Luke we read the much easier to understand word, sin. Forgive us our sins, or forgive us our trespasses. 

There's a few reasons why Matthew chose to use a different word. The word debt makes a lot more sense in the Jewish culture that Matthew was writing to. 

The Jewish people often understood the word sin to be a debt that had to be paid. This is why they had animal sacrifices. Because for every sin there is a debt, a burden, put on the person who sinned. And that burden had to be paid. That is why Jesus had to die in our place. Because the consequence of sin is death, and so someone had to die in our place for that debt to be paid. 

But, more than that, I think debt is a good word for us because sin has lost its meaning. We talk about sin city not in a negative way but in a, wow i can't wait to visit Sin city for vacation. We have tattoo parlors less than an hour away in Missouri named SIN IN SKIN. Sin has lost its meaning and for some parts of the world it has become a fun term to indulge in. 

But debt, oh we know what debt feels like and it's a heavy seemingly endless burden.

But the idea of a debt sets up another parable Jesus would tell us show us the meaning of forgiveness in our lives. Jumping to Matthew 18:23-35 Jesus tells this parable 

 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.

The moral of this parable is that if we even consider it for but a moment our sin against God far outweighs any sin another person could have against us. For every sin we commit we commit against God, only some of our sins are directly against other people. And a sin against God is a far greater offense. 

To sin against God is to reject the almighty being who created us. Craft us, knit us in our mothers womb to use the language of the psalms. (Psalm 139)

 When we recognize that God is perfect in all of his ways, and has committed no wrongs, sin against him is something we can not even begin to grasp. If the consequence of one sin, one rebellion against God is death then we are meant to experience death a million times over. 

Bonhoeffer the great theologian who was later martyred by Hitler once wrote “What does it matter if I suffer injustice? Would I not have deserved even worse punishment from God, if He had not dealt with me according to His mercy? Is not justice done to me a thousand times even in injustice? Must it not be wholesome and conducive to humility for me to learn to bear such petty evils silently and patiently?” (life together pg 96)

You see friends, if we gladly and thankfully accept the forgiveness of God but do not give out forgiveness to others then we are the greatest of hypocrites. 

Even if we can truly look ourselves as good morally upright people our sin should be viewed as the worst. When I look at myself I know my intentions. 

Let me give you an example. Have you ever gotten really frustrated at a slow driver? You are looking at the speed limit sign, and you are looking at your speedometer and you are like, yes, the speed limit is 45 but that doesn’t mean you have to do 40! Speed up, go faster, get out of my way! 

Then you finally get around them looking to see what obnoxious person slowed your day down by those precious few seconds and it’s an elderly woman. And maybe just maybe that elderly woman has never driven down this road, and she's near a breaking point because her husband is usually the one who drives them and he passed away three days ago…

You see there's any number of reasons why someone else cut me off. They truly didn’t see me, their child is being rushed to the hospital, their old, they are a student driver, they got no sleep the night before, it goes on and on. 

I don’t know about you but I have never really sinned by accident. When my eyes wander, when my heart is transfixed on the idol of power, when i get angry and pray for peoples downfall, when I get vindicitiative, jealous of someone else's success, when I complain and moan to my wife that i don’t have enough time to do stuff around the house making it seem like her expectations are to high when in reality I really just want to spend that time playing videos games because i'm lazy and selfish with my time.. 

I have no excuse. I know my intentions. I know how weak willed I am. I know what I am doing when I think about a sin before I do it and I do it anyway.. And I do it again and again and again. 

But I don't know other people's hearts. I don’t know if they know right from wrong, I don’t know how they grew up or how convicting the Holy Spirit is in their life. But I know myself. 

I know that when I lose my keys, or my car has issues, or I don’t get to use my time the way I see fit, I will curse the world like I lost my salvation.

One of my favorite books, liturgy of the ordinary explains my sin perfectly, 

“Small things go wrong. I feel hurried or overwhelmed, burdened by sad news or worried for a friend, and like a rising flood, inch by inch, the collective sadness and frustration mounts and I snap. I yell at my daughters to quiet down. I slam the broken dishwasher door just a bit harder than necessary. I mutter something under my breath. If I were a lioness, I would snarl. As it is, I brood.

These unbidden unveilings in my day are insignificant compared to the immense suffering in our lives and in the broader world. There are people who face profound agony every day: chronic pain, heart-wrenching loss, desperation. In my own life there have been seasons of deep sorrow. But this is not that. This is not the Valley of the Shadow of Death. This is the roadside ditch of broken things and lost objects, the potholes of gloom and unwanted interruptions.” (Liturgy of the ordinary, Tish Harrison Warren, 52 pg)

This is why in his book life together Bonhoeffer writes:

Yet even Paul said of himself that he was the foremost, i.e., the worst of sinners (1 Tim. 1:15). He said this at the very place in scripture where he was speaking of his ministry as an apostle. There can be no genuine knowledge of sin that does not lead me down to this depth. If my sin appears to me to be in any way smaller or less reprehensible in comparison with the sins of others, then I am not yet recognizing my sin at all. My sin is of necessity the worst, the most serious, the most objectionable. Christian love will find any number of excuses for the sins of others; only for my sin is there no excuse whatsoever. That is why my sin is the worst. Those who would serve others in the community must descend all the way down to this depth of humility. How could I possibly serve other persons in unfeigned humility if their sins appear to me to be seriously worse than my own? If I am to have any hope for them, then I must not raise myself above them. Such service would be a sham.” (Life Together, pg 96)

Those words from the Apostle Paul found in his letter to Timothy convict me to my core. 

I agree with him and so I repeat his words as my own, “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.” (1st Timothy 1:15)

 I hope you my friends and family will not hold it against me. 

But know this, if you come to me with your sins against God and man, seeking counseling or confession, seeking absolution from God, then know the one thing I will never not give, the one thing I dare not withhold from you or anyone else, is forgiveness. I dare not withhold the thing God has so graciously lavished on me.

Conclusion

So let me be transparent and honest with you right now. There will be very few times I will be this serious with you all but this is how serious this point is. There is no forgiveness from God if you have not forgiven your neighbor. 

I remind you again of what Jesus says immediately after this prayer. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.. (Matthew 6:14-15 NIV)

Elsewhere Jesus adds on, he says if you come to the altar with a sacrifice, looking for forgiveness of your sins, looking for absolution of your own debt to God, but have not been reconciled with your brother or sister, leave your sacrifice at the church steps and go be reconciled with the one you are at odds with. (Matthew 5:24)

Practicing Forgiveness is the single most important thing you can do. You do not love if you have not forgiven. You do not reflect Christ if you do not forgive. We can not practice love if we do not practice forgiveness. 

True Forgiveness is both the single hardest thing you will ever do, and at the same time the single greatest act of love and compassion you could ever give to another. Without forgiveness resentment eats away at our entire life controlling us, hardening our heart toward our brothers and sisters, and yet with forgiveness comes the most joyful freedom of expression you can find. 

Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. We can only control our response. It also does not mean you allow that person who hurt you the same access to you or your same family. But it does mean letting go. 

Letting go of resentment. Letting go of anger. Letting go of  vengeance. It means letting go of the hate, the judgement, and the condemnation that is all consuming. And finding a way to love despite the pain.

There is no better example of this I know than the story of Corrie Ten Boom. 

Corrie Ten boom was a woman from the Netherlands who grew up in a very religious home before the outbreak of WW2. She and her family sheltered jews for a while until someone of their own country told the Nazis what they were doing. So they were sent to a concentration camp for harboring jews. This is her story of how she forgave one of the cruelest guards at her camp. (video can be found on youtube)

It was so hard to keep this message condensed and brief because there are so many incredible stories of people inspired by the spirit of God who have chosen forgiveness over hate and repentance. But I could not finish this message without reading you this final quote. This final quote comes from the first woman to accuse Larry Nasser, the former US Gymnasts team doctor, of rape. She said to him, 

“The Bible . . . carries a final judgment where all of God’s wrath and eternal terror is poured out on men like you. Should you ever reach the point of truly facing what you have done, the guilt will be crushing. And that is what makes the gospel of Christ so sweet. Because it extends grace and hope and mercy where none should be found. And it will be there for you.

I pray you experience the soul crushing weight of guilt so you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me—though I extend that to you as well.” (https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/24/us/rachael-denhollander-full-statement/index.html)

Let us embark on this journey of forgiveness together. Let us share the same forgiveness to others that we have seen today from the believers we read about today, so that we may, in turn, find forgiveness for ourselves.